kind of changing.

sabino canyon hike. 'zona.

my life is a lot different this year as compared to last.

i now have everything that i wanted to have last year: freedom, friends, and holidays with my family.

but i wonder sometimes if that has come at a price.

do i deserve to have these things if i manipulated my way to get them?




i am still trying to make myself take the final leap of faith, so i can leave my long, destructive, and distorted past behind.

i have had glimpses of what that would look like, but i keep looking back.
and it has me wondering if i am actually stuck again or merely in a "looking back" phase.

feeding the homeless, thanksgiving 2010

it was nice to spend thanksgiving with my family, instead of awkwardly with people i did not know.


but i think i had more fun last year. less stress. more safety.
home again in just a few weeks, and i'll have time away from the stresses of school to think more.
but for now, i will immerse myself in some ass kicking finals review. oh dear jesus.